i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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