we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
