Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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