You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
