DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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