A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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