I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
