You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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