I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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