first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
