Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
