This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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