You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
