i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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