I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
