No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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