On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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