escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
