I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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