I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
