Is it normal to miss your booty call?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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