he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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