all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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