whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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