Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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