I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
