Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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