this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
