Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
