I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize