i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
