I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
