her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
