Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
should my penis look like a turkey
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
