New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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