I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
