There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The air was thick with penises
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
