By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
