Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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