He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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