Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
