She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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