thus making me awesome and them whores
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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