it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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