Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
