I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
