the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
