A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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