the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
