He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
soo... how was my night?
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